Peter, Peter, “Richard” Beater, Meets Itchy Trigger Finger. Man’s Ex-Lover Kidnaps His New Lover — Girl Crush?
Alexey Zubkov: Meat Beater
[HOLLYWOOD, FL
Authorities rolled up on a man in the parking lot of the Cove Apartments, located in the 4300 Block of Sheridan Street, Hollywood Florida.
Alexey Zubkov, 27 was taken into custody and charged with indecent exposure. Zubkov explained to Hollywood PD that while driving, he experienced a “bad itch and wanted to give his penis a good scratch, at which time he pulled into the parking lot, pulled his pants down to scratch his itch.
A woman resident looked down from her bedroom window and saw Zubkov in his van and alerted police to his activities. She claims that he was “jerking off.”
Before calling the police, the complainant went downstairs and confronted Zubkov. (Things that make you go UMM!) Looks like he turned her down.
The arrestee disputes the charge of masturbation, he said he was just scratching himself, but the excited woman resident insists that Zubkov was actually beating his Peter.
Lesson to be learned:
Always remember to love thy neighbor as thyself. This way she’ll be happy too.
A 19-year-old Man Murdered For Stealing Wal-Mart Diapers — Employee Assisted By Gun-Toting Customer
[Orlando, FL]
On Saturday, February 4, 2017, a Wal-Mart employee and customer confronted a teenager for stealing Diapers. According to the Orange County Sheriff’s Office, the killer, armed with a firearm confronted the theft suspect and three others in the parking lot. A commotion ensued, and the suspect was shot.
Young Red Neck Use Ford F-150 To Run Over Toyota Car.
[OCALA, FL]
A road rage incident in Ocala, Florida, between a 53-year-old man (Adalberto Aponte) driving a Toyota Camry and an 18-year-old driving a Ford F-150.
According to Police report, Aponte was tailgating the F-150 and driving recklessly. When both vehicles got to an intersection, Aponte exited his vehicle, approached the driver of the Ford pickup truck and began throwing punches at him through an open driver window.
When Aponte returned to his vehicle, the driver of the Ford Truck backed up over the Camry. Police were summoned, and the enraged Aponte was taken into police custody.
Hell Hast No Fury, As A woman Scorned…
[FLORIDA KEYS, FL]
Feeling jilted by her lover, A 51-year-old Florida Keys woman kidnapped her ex-boyfriend’s new flavor of the month.
Monroe County Sheriff’s Office says that Laura Bauler threatened her ex’s new romantic interest with a knife, tied her up and took her to the Key Lantern Motel.
While at the motel, Bauler ordered the woman into a closet, forced her into a bathtub, asked her to take her clothes off and then to go outside naked.
It looks like she just went cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Girl Crush!
When the victim tried to run away, Bauler tackled the naked woman on the ground and wrestled with her. Other guests at the motel witnessed the struggle between them and rescued the victim from Bauler.
Bauler left the hotel but was later found on Saturday. Police say she’s facing charges of kidnapping and aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, battery, and burglary.
Bauler didn’t get away for long. The deputies found her, and on Saturday they said she was facing charges of kidnapping, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, battery, kidnapping, and burglary.
